:)

I few weeks ago i was feeling down. I didn't feel like i was doing anything with my life. So the baby that i am asked my father for a blessing. We talked a long while and then he gave me one. It was great and said just what i needed to hear. My prayers have been answered. I am loving my life again. All my friends are back for school and i actually have a life. I realized work isn't that bad. I am just HAPPY. I love that. :) Prayers and the priesthood rock, that is all. I feel so blessed and grateful and ahh i love it! :) 

Feelin.

I feel scared. Not like the scared where I am alone in the dark by myself scared, which happens to be my fear. I feel nervous. Not the kind where I am giving a big speech in front of everyone nervous. I feel annoyed. Not the annoyed where a two year old little kid is saying my name millions of times a second annoyed. I feel tired. Not the I just ran a ten mile marathon tired. I feel sick. Not the in the hospital for days kind of sick. I feel impatient. Not the I want summer to start already kind of impatient, or is it? I feel sad. Not the my very close loved one just died kind of sad. 

This is all the feelings that I am feeling if I am thinking negatively. I feel so many different emotions every single day. And yes I am feeling all those emotions for real but more IMPORTANTLY...

I feel excited. The kind of excited you get when your boyfriend has lived in a different town the whole summer and is moving back in four days kind of excited. I feel blessed. The kind of blessed you feel when you know that you can not have a better family in the world. I feel grateful. The kind of grateful you feel when you have a good job when the economy is being rough. I feel determined. The kind of determined that you feel when you want something so badly that you are making sure you are doing everything you can to get to that point you need to be at. I feel loved. The kind of love you feel when you are so rich with loved ones around you. I feel beyond excited. The kind of beyond excited you feel when you know in about two weeks you will be in Fish Lake with your whole family. 

Rambling.

So it's like 9:30 and i'm thinking where has my day gone? It was my day off.. Did i do anything exciting? No. Did i do anything at all? Not really. I woke up VERY late. I went to Taco Bell. I layed out in the sun. Why do i do that? I don't know because my skin surely doesn't change from that awkward white color. I did some laundry. I cleaned my room a little and i have been reading.

 I started and finished a book in one day. That book that i saw at the mall probably a month or two ago called Heaven Is For Real. Well Lynden surprised me with it last night! I was pretty excited. I read the whole thing today and i loved it. It was about Heaven and what would you want to learn about more than to learn about that? Well i can't think of anything. 

There have been so many things on my mind today.. My family, people getting married, highschool friends, new friends i have now, the church, the temple, school, work, kids and just everything. It's so crazy how fast i'm growing up or probably in better words time is gowing by so fast! I will turn twenty this year, one of my best friends is getting married in a little over a month, all my older siblings are married, Kasdan (my little brother) is now an adult as of yesterday. He will be going on a mission in just a year! It's so crazy how things have changed. I love it though! 

I am just rambling on and don't really even know if this will make sense at all. Probably not. I just feel like writing down my thoughts and this is what i've got. :)